the jay who....

my loving wife Jay is wondering if I can possibly write as passionately and deeply about her as I can about animatronic bears and gorillas at non-existent pizza parlors. Seeing as how we've been together almost everyday for the past 4 years, I'm sure I could write an entire novel if I had to. This is a novel that is still being written, with new chapters everyday, every year until death do us part.

my first encounter with Jay was in a recommendation letter in her VanArts application, which described her as 'serene and deep.' that is as perfect a description as i could possibly conjure.
most people who know my wife know her as the artistic Jay, the quiet Jay, the funny Jay, the contemplative Jay....i know and love all of these Jays very well. Given my honor and privilege of being husband of the Jay, I also get to know the cranky Jay, the emotional Jay, the tired Jay, the angry-at-me Jay, and all those Jays that only come out for me. This is not a complaint, as it comes with the territory of every marriage. As much as I may bite my lip, I would not trade it for anything. This is why Doug says 'marriage is work, but it's good work!' The good work pays off in the other Jays I've had the blessing to know that are for nobody else. The Jay who came to my birthday party all hyper and strung-out after a long day at work....the Jay who listened to me lament about my hardships over a candlelight dinner and looked at me with a look that is still the most loving 'look' i have ever seen.....the Jay who names all of the inanimate objects in the house, who even says 'hello' to the house when she walks in the door.....the Jay who obsesses over obscure TV shows and reminisces through her video game music tapes....the Jay who becomes silent when standing before water....the Jay who meditates nightly with her needle and thread....

....these are all little quirks and things that make Jay who she is for me; I've told her it's like living in a giant cartoon all the time. Not only because it's entertaining, but because anything is possible. Except for buying a car and a house, and a backyard outdoor theater, but we're getting there. My dreams mean more to me now that I have someone to share them with.

...but the Jay that stands out the most for me is the real Jay, which I like to symbolize particularly with one moment that pretty much sums up all of the other moments....it's the Jay who, on the day of our wedding, which all brides know is one of the only days when everyone focuses on her, cuz it's 'her day' and she should soak it all up, found out that one of the guests had to temporarily leave the reception because her mother was very sick with cancer, and was very upset because she knew that her mom would probably not be there for her whenever she got married...and because that very thing happened for Jay, she took the time out of her own wedding to talk to this girl outside the church and comfort her, and plainly admit that she barely knew her, but that she knew how she felt and wanted her to know that she cared....the Jay who put herself aside on her special day for someone else.

That's the Jay I know, love and appreciate, and who I too often take for granted, Lord forgive me.....and she makes me laugh like nobody else too.