Ottawa Day #1, part 2

Quick blog before i go to bed cuz it's 1am here now, but i still feel like it's 10pm, which is BC time. Had awesome rib dinner with Meeka at this restaurant i can't remember the name right now but I'll remember later. Holy crap, what good food.

Went to Opening Screening...some great films and some "ehh" films. Very artsy stuff. John Canemaker's film was the highlight for me; i related to it in a big way. Loved it. Ok tired. More tomorrow.

Ottawa Day #1

So i had a good flight yesterday...watching cartoons on the laptop helped the 3+ hours fly by pretty quickly. finally got to meeka's place around 9:30ish and chatted for awhile; showed her my film and Jose/Carlos' film. had a hard time getting to sleep due to the time change. my normal bedtime ended up being around 2 in the morning here.

today i tried reaching somebody at the arts high school here to arrange a visit, but still nobody is returning my calls, so that might not happen this time around; we'll see about tomorrow. so i walked around getting lost trying to find the place to pick up our festival passes, and once i found it had a typical Canadian lunch at Tim Hortons and went to take a look at the parliament buildings since i was in the neighborhood. It's pretty neat being here on the dawn of my citizenship ceremony, whenever that is. so far ottawa is very pretty...reminds me of victoria.

the cab drivers here are interesting...so far they are more talkative than the ones in Vancouver. the first one today told me he just moved to Canada a few months ago so he doesn't know the streets very well.....gee, i sure felt confident, but he did know about the important landmarks, so that's ok. he was really nice though. the second guy today proceeded to tell me a string of dirty offensive sexist racist jokes, and i pretended to laugh. i should have fired one back at him, 'say, do you know what they call a school bus full of racist bastards at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!' oh well.

so now my feet are sore and i'm waiting for meeka so we can grab dinner later and the opening screenings tonight.

7 Years in Canada

Today is the 7-year anniversary of the day I finally crossed the border into Vancouver, and have not had an established address in the US since. I was 23. Most of my 20s were here.

In a few months I'll be a dual citizen. (current music: 'Burning Homestead' from Star Wars) How ironic! "I want to come with you to Canada. There's nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a hoser like my father." But my father's not Canadian. I think I'm the first one, which from an archealogical perspective is pretty interesting. (current music: "Tourniquet", Evanescense) Part of me has been torn establishing this new identity for myself, in that so much of my blood is pure red American. Starting with pilgrims on the Mayflower landing at Plymouth Rock, to William Davis crossing the Delaware with Washington, to Ann Simpson, the Revolution's messenger girl with the hole in her tooth, and Ulysses S. Grant. These are my ancestors, where I distantly come from, without whom I would not exist. (current music: "She Only," Great White) So am I leaving this behind? I don't believe so. I am too proud of where I come from. I like to think instead that I'm like the pilgrims, carrying their blood into another land, a different one. The Ambrose/Priebe line has simply spread and will carry more Canadians into the neverending story of my family. I think many people in my family are more Canadian than they might like to admit. Part of me has always been destined to settle here...subtle signs of feeling drawn to it my whole life; Falkor Alley & the Ryche being a prime example. Something about it.

I think as a child I always knew who I was. Somewhere along the line I forgot, but when I came to Canada I started to remember. (current music: "Rift", Phish) Funny how sometimes you have to leave a part of yourself behind to find your whole self again. Yet I like to think that I came out here to find myself and instead God found me, and thus I'm more myself than I've ever been, and still a work in progress. Stranger still that Priebe happens to be a Mennonite name, so again destiny rears its head. My plan for instilling in future Mennonite Priebes is to blend the worlds and memories of Michigan and BC in such that they will feel like the giant mitten is as much a part of them as it is of me. I want them to feel that it is just the magic land on the other side of the lake, as Windsor was to me looking across Lake St Clair and being told "That's Canada over there!" How exotic! Yet it won't be distant, only in terms of fast-forwarding 3 hours by plane, as much as we can. (current music: "Another Brick Part 1", Floyd)

I like having this extra identity to add to my American-ness. It's like being born again. When I became a Christian (which i think i always was, i just didn't realize it for a few years, just like i've always been Canadian) I found it fascinating to have a new creed to live by, a new standard, a real truth, and the most real people I've ever met to be a part of. The old me was shed to an extent, but still very much there in a different perspective. Very similar thing here. I can carry a gun and drink a beer at the same time. Too bad I am not partial to either of those things.

(current music: "Wrapped Around your Finger", Police) It's good to be here. I never would have guessed I would be. 7 years. Hm. Must soak in this.

(current music: "As the World Falls Down", Bowie)

"I need you, Hoggle, I don't know why but, every now and then in my life, for no reason at all, I need you, all of you."

"You do? Well, why didn't you say so?"

....it's a beauty way ta go!

(current music: "Down Under" Men at Work)

How to be a Hoser

So it's official...on August 18th I take my test for Canadian citizenship, and then find out what day my ceremonial rites shall take place. I wonder, would the animal symbol of someone like me who will have dual citizenship be something resembling a platypus? The American Eagle lays eggs, as does the platypus, who looks like a beaver. Then where does the duck come in?

So now I am spending some time studying for the big test, and all of those important questions and facts: memorizing the Tim Hortons menu, learning how to build an igloo, how to chug a beer, hockey jersey identification, the date VCRs were legalized and learning the lyrics of Anne Murray songs.

2005 is kickin' ass so far.

i'm still alive

For those of you living precariously through my posts, no I did not die in Mexico. There was one day when I felt like I was going to, but I made it home. After this whirlwind of travelling, I went through a brief period of exhaustion and semi-depression and just overall sluggish-ness...wiped out from too much excitement and not enough savoring the moments, just going from one moment to the next. i'm all better now.

since the last post some interesting highlights of life have been a family day in Victoria for Kyle's graduation party, Katrina & David's wedding, going to VidFest, our 4-year anniversary with a relaxing day off at home and awesome steak & lobster dinner at the Harbour Centre revolving restaurant with awesome view of the city, (and awesome view of Jay...she ate a duck!), and another visit from Pixar which went worlds smoother than last year...cuz all i had to do was take pictures.

the film is also back in full swing, which is outlined in more detail on my film journal. Showing the Thief workprint tonight, so all is good.

Ahhh....

You know what, something bugs me...in Close Encounters, when the mother ship first opens up you see a spidery-looking alien who raises his arms up and then in the next shot you see all of these little aliens walking around. So what happened to the big spidery alien? Did he turn into all the little aliens, like Voltron? Is he a Christ figure who just dematerializes? I don't get that.

Blog from Mexico

well howdy folks i am here in mexico city, and it is quite amazing. it's hot, yet not as hot as i thought it would be. i got sniffles and right now sitting here at the internet cafe my eyes are rather irritated...could be the pollution, as i was told that many foreigners have this problem when coming here. could also be the flowers here...they are the most brilliant bright purple i have ever seen! "i love being purple!" speaking of that, i saw a painting on the side of a building of SpongeBob (who is called Bob Sponge here) and Patrick, and i also saw a Stitch pinata. pretty cool. it's neat to see how popular culture is translated here.

i am amazed at the drivers in this city, including Ricardo who has been driving us around everywhere. they are like acrobats. they rarely signal or stay in one lane in particular...apparently their driver's training does not have any rules or regulations; they are simply told to "go with the flow" and make up their own rules for traffic. so the cars are constantly weaving in and out of each other, its like a video game, like frogger or something. and the roads are hacked up with potholes and like a very complicated maze with seemingly very little rhyme or reason to them. YET i have not seen ONE single accident! compare this to our recent trip to michigan, where drivers training is very strict and "by the book" as i remember it, and how many accidents did we see? quite a few in that short amount of time.

the response we're getting from students at these schools is pretty good...i am continuing to see that there is much interest in stop motion animation here. my theory, which i have discussed with Ricardo and Mario during our travels, is that there is a strong artisan tradition here of people using their hands to create things. plus there is the tradition of things like the Day of the Dead figurines and such, so i think this lends a subconscious pull to the puppet animation medium, in a different way here than you would find in the US and Canada. With the connections we have established, perhaps i will find myself doing some workshops down here at some point. That would be neat.

ok, on to the next venture.

Mmmmm food

So today was Jay's birthday and we just had another gorgeous BC dinner...this time at LaBelle Auberge, a historic house in Ladner made into a fancy French restaurant. Hoollly crap, awesome food! And Jay is 26 now and looked damn beautiful tonight; it was a romantic evening. Our menu was as follows...
Amuse Bouche
La Belle Auberge Famous Lobster Bisque
Lemon Prawns in Pernod
Wilted Spinach & Pea Shoots with Carrot Vinaigrette
Fruit Sorbet
Monkfish with Potato Wrap and Tarragon Cream Sauce
the worlds best dessert!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tiramisu Chocolate Tear Drop
bottle of Okanagan Blue Mountain 2001 red wine (yay! half a bottle each for a good buzz)
http://www.labelleauberge.com/

Our stomachs rejoice! Now it's off to bed. Tune in next blog for reports from Mexico City, where the spaceship KenTrek will experience the finest in Mexico City visiting, work and whatnot. Alert Ted Koppel. Film at 11. Shoe.

Can you tell I'm buzzed?

mmm wine.

Going home and coming home

Back from a whirlwind trip to the land of my childhood...the big mitten known as Michigan. Funny, as we were leaving Vancouver, I said to Jay 'i'm going hoooooome!' and then as we were leaving Detroit, I said to Jay, 'i'm going hooooome!' How many homes can one have? I feel like I've had many.

We arrived after a long flight with a layover in Chicago (movie: Oceans Twelve) and it was dark, about 9:30, and made our way to Nancy & Bill's. Bill greeted us, as everyone else was asleep by the time we got there, and we chatted over cereal as our bellies were pretty empty by that point. Thursday we walked around Central Campus for a bit; looked very different in places, especially Liberty Street; all the shops were re-done and the Michigan Theater marquee restored. Surreal thing about being back there after 6 years or so was that it seemed rather dead, like a ghost town...just a bunch of buildings with some memories, but since the people were gone and the experience of being in the moment of it being home was gone, it was simply a place, where other people are now living the same experiences I had. We had some dang good chili-cheese dogs for lunch, and a nice little moment together eating at a table on Liberty. For so long I had been wanting to share this town with Jay, and it was great finally being able to. Had to visit the cube. That evening we hung out with Nancy, Bill and the boys, ate Chinese food, talked, threw the pig skin awkwardly with Ryan. My insane cousin Trevor entertained us with his toy cars...'and here comes the ambulance and crashes into the orange car...Kablooeeeeeyy! and Legos are falling from the sky!'
I made a brief appearance at Jeff's bachelor party...he called my cel just as i pulled up in front of them while they were walking to their second location, it was bizarre....'where are you?' 'i'm right in front of you!' I'm sure that much synchronicity is overwhelming to someone as tanked as Jeff was that night. Funny how the tables turned...the one night I got piss drunk on my 21st birthday, looking at my feet and commenting how flat they looked, Jeff was the only one not drinking...a sober observant. Now it was my chance to do it. Drunk people are hilarious.

Friday we visited North Campus, saw my Star Wars mural on its exact 10-year anniversary (somebody painted a mustache on Yoda, the bastards.) and had lunch with Mark & Markus. Checked out the art school, which was still producing the same crap they always have. Aside from life drawing, performance art and illustration, and perhaps photography, i'm not sure exactly what all I got out of that place. I certainly would not recommend it as an art school for anyone, unless they were the type of person who goes for mediocre atheistic fluffiness masquerading as purpose. Oh well. That night was the rehearsal and dinner, which was very very very good; totally special. I got to share the story of how Jeff & Marie got engaged on their trip to see us last summer, and how I lost my job as Jeff's damaged relationship counselor. It's all good, as I am so glad that after many years of searching, Jeff has finally found his perfect match, and with faith in Jesus to top it off too! Now I can sleep at night. It's awesome.

Saturday was set aside completely for the wedding, which ran very smoothly and was very beautiful. Got to see Joe and the Johnstown Cats play...dance with Jay, eat more good food, it was a great day. Long day, but lots of fun.

Sunday we got to see Steve and Brandon. Got lots more great toons to take back home with me and show the students, and got to dig through and take some old drawings from the Tonka days. Jay got a special kick out of meeting Steve, since he is one of the people who has really shaped me into the person that I am, in my interests and mannerisms, and overall enthusiasm for sharing animation with people. It was great and so much fun...one of the best days of the week, just talking about films and such, and having a typical random philosophical discussion with Brandon. Twas a rare and special thing. I feel I am just recently starting to develop friendships here in Canada that are on the same frequency as the ones I have back home. It is fascinating to watch them all blossom and grow into different phases and shapes. I hope they will continue to intersect over the years like a tree or a spider-web...a mass array of lives going under and through tunnels of brief experiences like this where we get to catch up on pieces of our journeys. That evening we got to spend more quality time with Nancy & Bill and the boys, which was great.

Some funny differences that Jay & I noticed between here and there...over there, everything is butt cheap, the Twinkies are huge, everyone eats McDonalds, the roads are terrible and getting worse all the time, and every 20 yards is a dead raccoon on the road, each one in a different pose and sometimes missing a different body part. In fact, we made a song about it based on a popular piece of Sesame Street nostalgia: '1-2-3, 4-5-6, 7-8-9, 10-11-12, and we saw dead raccoons, at the road kill picnic...'

Monday we drove to Grosse Pointe...stopped by the house, got to see Larry, had lunch with Dan at Buddy's Pizza, checked into the hotel, went to Mom's school, and out to Mongolian BBQ for dinner. Came home and watched the SpongeBob Movie with Dan.

Tuesday went to Greenfield Village, dinner at home and a reunion with old friends...Blake, Graham, Meighan & Nickie. Out of all of my friends, most of these souls I had not seen in the longest time. Last time we were in town, Meg & Doug were the only ones we got to see briefly, so this was especially surreal but very special, and a visit I was really looking forward to, as these are friendships that go back the farthest, a history full of drama, danger, excitement, laughter and plenty of funny noises. A few Harshes from Blake were presented that night, but most of the noises were simply those of laughter, healing and fellowship. Unfortunately Doug could not be there to complete the picture, and I didn't get a response from Jamie in time for this event, but I did get to see Doug later that night. He, Blake and I sat on the front porch and talked...I said I felt like the Benickis' should have been across the street providing the sick entertainment. We shared our various film projects and stuff; it was a great time. I'm very proud of all of my friends and what we all have accomplished.

Wednesday we went to the Detroit Zoo and Somerset Mall, dinner at home, and visits from Aunt Carol & cousin Sara, and Blake & Doug again, watched 'the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra' at Dan's strong request. By the end it was so late we had a sadly rushed good-bye with everyone, but one full of fulfillment.

Now after this wonderful dream, it's back to reality...until the next round friends!

Time change

urrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh dont like timmmmmeee chaaannnnnnnge.

last week....no the week before that i was in Alberta. it was cold. but i had a good time. presentations went well; got to see friends, got to see new baby. being on the road like that is actually quite fun, although it got lonely sometimes. the best part of my job is meeting people. people who are genuinely interested in what the school has to offer. i love that.

sunday morning i had a vivid dream of watching 'the passion' and then actually being part of a scene in the movie, being one of the people who was assigned to beat Jesus. another person was with me, and proceeded to beat him, but i was afraid to. He looked right at me and i felt a kind of magnetic vortex of being drawn to him, wanting to embrace him and run to him, yet being afraid and being held back at the same time. He scooped up a pile of sand in his hands and said 'look at the good earth that God has made' and the sand started to blow out of his hands and freak out the surrounding crowd. as the crowd led him away, the radio alarm went off and scene continued to the accompaniment of "One" by U2. very strange and moving...not sure why i had this dream. most likely lingering thoughts of Easter and thoughts of knowing that I'm so feeble at being the person I should be, but i'm trying. wish i could let go more....let go of control. get some energy. i'm so tired all the time.

there are very exciting times ahead. just make it until then, and wake up.
very, very exciting times. and Jay makes me laugh and smile.

mmmm, cheetos are good.

Star Wars III

Wow the new Star Wars trailer is AWWWWWWESOME! Gave me chills.

Finally got to see it on the news last night, since it wasn't on during the OC like they kept saying. What a moronic show that is; i can still tell just by watching it without sound. We had our split screen on watching Survivor on the left and the OC on the right so we would know when the Star Wars trailer came on, which it didn't. Oh well. Perhaps on different networks it played. Such a shame that anyone would have to sit through an agonizing hour of crap to see 2 minutes of brilliance.

Photo Shoot

Yesterday we had an official, professionally-done photo shoot, since we never really had any real 'engagement' photos way back when. Our photographer Maria Petersen (Frozen Reflections Photography) was great, very professional and did an awesome job. We got them done at Granville Island and English Bay Beach, two of the best places on Earth.

The best pics are posted on the Prie-believing website, starting at http://www.prie-believing.com/photo_album.8.html

Yay! It was a very romantic thing to do...since work has been so stressful the past few days, this was an awesome way to re-connect and just be together. Ah, sparks fly....love is good.

:)

Oscars, Animation and Where Have I Been?

Apparently turning 30 means I disappear! Poof! But no, i am back. Changes going on at work keeping my mind pretty occupied and my desk full of things to do. New students arrived last week, still waiting on a few more to show up. It's a good group.

This weekend was the Animation Show screening at the Ridge. Glad i got to check it out this year. I got to meet Mike Judge and Don Hertzfeldt in person, which was very cool...very normal down-to-earth guys. Especially surprising with Don, he's very unlike his films, yet at the same time you can see where the genius comes from. The films were arty but mostly funny and very well done...makes me wonder if my film is of the caliber to be part of the show in a few years. I shall send it anyway and see what happens.

Last night went to an Oscar party thrown by people from church, and had a really great time. Jay beat me as the supreme winner-predictor! and i came in second. Everyone thought we must have seen all the films and had all of this inside knowledge, which is funny cuz we never go to the movies. Between the two of us, the only films with any nominations we have seen are Ray, SuperSize Me, Passion of the Christ, & SpiderMan 2. We have become wait-for-DVD people. Heheh.

Birthday Fun

So yes, like I said I was rather blown away by the surprise party, even more so at the fact that Jay, who cannot keep secrets very well, had succeeded in deceiving me about it for over 2 months. I suppose it helps that as I get older my brain cells are apparently depleting and making me more gullible. Perhaps, but in actuality I think Jay also did a good job of bluffing. Makes me wonder, do we really get smarter as we get older? I like to think so, but I wonder if each human person is a blueprint of the human race as a whole...since I think humanity has been regressing since the beginning. anyway, random thought there.

coming up the stairs for the party, the first person I saw who I didn't expect was Dave, and then Toby, and then by that point everyone said Surprise!!! and shortly afterwards I noticed Charles & Misti, and Marcos & Beth, which really threw me for a loop cuz I am not used to seeing people from work mixed in with everyone from Ladner. A strange merging of worlds...and then every corner I turn there are more people, and then more people. Totally in shock was I, who really just wanted to go to the bathroom. Good thing I wasn't MORE startled than I was. Talked to Penny & Bill and Grandpa Priebe on the phone that night too.

The previous part of the day was spent as such: me sleeping in until 9am when Jay woke me up with breakfast in bed, my Dad calling right afterwards, watching The Godfather and Jaws with Mike, and having a romantic Italian dinner out with Jay, during which the overhead speakers played an Italian version of the song in the beginning, which Jay walked down the aisle to at our wedding. pretty awesome that was.

one of the best days of my life hencewith so far, me dost thinketh.

Highlights of 30 years

1975 - my first year...don't remember much.
1976 - still a little blurry; i remember some scary dreams i had, Sesame Street kept me entertained.
1977 - Star Wars comes out and provides the opportunity for my first movie obsession.
1978 - my brother Jonathan is born, Friday nights involve the Muppet Show, Family Feud and Dance Fever.
1979 - unbeknowst to me, my wife Jay is born several thousand miles away, I start writing stories, my favorite film The Muppet Movie is released, and I go to Disney World with my family.
1980 - I start Kindergarten at Mason School.
1981 - my obsession with birdwatching starts to take effect, I start 1st grade and continue to write.
1982 - I write a play, ET and Dark Crystal are both released and 2nd grade begins.
1983 - my brother Daniel is born, and my obsessions range from He-Man to Muppets to Mtv to Showbiz Pizza Place to more Star Wars.
1984 - Ghostbusters mania strikes...at some point I learn how to swim, sort of.
1985 - I start 5th grade with Mr Brock, and Dad buys a VCR & video camera.
1986 - school trip to Toronto, charcoal drawing classes and starting middle school, which is rather scary but I get used to it eventually
1987 - family trip to Arizona, starting 7th grade.
1988 - I win the school talent show, and start hanging out with friends Doug, Jamie, Graham & Blake.
1989 - creativity flourishes as I make comedy tapes with my friends, win the talent show again, meet my friend Meighan, have the best summer of my life and start high school (9th grade).
1990 - learning to drive, starting 10th grade, that's about it.
1991 - hanging with friends, making haunted houses for Halloween, discovering Rocky Horror as an outlet for my teen angst.
1992 - more of the same, starting my senior year, camping trip in Canada with friends.
1993 - school plays, all things band related, graduating high school, rock band Snapple is born, starting art school at U of M, meeting friends Jeff & Brandon.
1994 - Pink Floyd concert. Only major highlight.
1995 - paint Star Wars mural in the dorm, summer job at movie theater, start making student films, camping trip in da U.P.
1996 - more films, start experimenting with animation, another summer at the movies.
1997 - start first animation job with Steve, finally graduate from U of M.
1998 - trip to Los Angeles, working for Steve, finishing Snot Living, swordfighting theater troupe, road trip to Vancouver, starting at VanArts.
1999 - trip to San Francisco, visit from grandparents, summer in Vancouver, meeting Jay.
2000 - dating Jay, getting engaged, finding Christ.
2001 - getting married, and all that comes with it, our first apartment, etc.
2002 - Disneyland/Arizona trip, working at VanArts.
2003 - moving into bigger place, visit from Grandpa.
2004 - visits from family and friends, continued work on film projects.
2005 - so far, last night, when Jay successfully organized a surprise birthday party for me, filled with family and friends, German chocolate cake, photos of my life everywhere, toys, food and good fellowship, leaving me humbled and blessed.

Not a bad 30 years.

random babble

current music: wrapped around your finger - the police

mellow evening at home, bloggin' with the winamp jukebox shuffle. last friday was another grad at the cinematheque, and a successful one. lots of good reels. it's amazing to watch the growth of some of these students, how much they learn. makes me think i should be more open to learning more about the changes that are going on in the industry, different softwares and whatnot...(current music: bridge - queensryche) but when do i have time for that? i suppose i am content to coast along with the knowledge i have about animation, because ultimately if i was really that passionate about it, i'd be more eager to go outside the box. i'm not even that motivated these days to animate the old school way at my desk, hence me sitting here blogging about it rather than doing it. but seeing jose and carlos' film and what they accomplished, and sifting through the scenes that carlos took back with him to Spain gave me a little glimmer of desire to get back to the drawing table again soon. i guess my spirit just needs a breather, a respite from what may be expected. Ha! what sweet irony! Current Music: i'm going to go back there someday by Gonzo. yes, my muppet friend, i will.

i believe i've been inspired lately to try and get back into writing. i always come back to that. the movie reviews are a good start, and i think just getting back into reading the right books is definitely a step in the right direction. the original 'joseph and moon' brewed in the back of my head (current music: horn - Phish) for a few weeks until the time was right to just bat it out over a weekend, so another birth pang is likely overdue. part of me ponders over what it would be like to have a profession doing animation or writing professionally, and some chances have sprung up here and there, with bix pix and bowes, etc. but i truly feel, as i do after grads that go well and aren't held in crappy venues with sound problems, that i've been called to serve in the job i have right now, serve the talents and careers of these amazing people i have the privilege to meet, and that my own 'break' into the business will come in God's time, in some way that will be more satisfying than if i was to drop everything and do my own thing. (current music: Rosanna - Toto ) i'm already seeing glimpses of opportunity that pop up, like the call for a voice acting gig at Wolfgang's studio, for instance. when i look back through my old journals i was always obsessing over this plan i had and these big lofty dreams that everyone expected me to live up to...all the while being disappointed because my life could never possibly live up to my vision of where i should have been at that moment. i was rather miserable and frustrated. Thank you God for leading me into a good job where I get to be a servant and stay continually inspired to try and keep up with my own 'work.' (current music: angus dei - third day) see? even Winamp is praising the Lord.

Huzzah! i turn 30 this weekend. guess i'll have lots to reflect on this week. but better get back to the drawing board and stop thinking, let things happen and be the ball.

Sha-nanananananananananah.............

current music: sweet dreams are made of this! Amen to that.

Generations

This evening while waiting at the bus stop I observed a group of kids who appeared to be 14 or 15...thrasher 'burn-out' type kids, troublemakers. like some of the people i knew growing up. they were singing 'Paradise City' by Guns N Roses and 'I Wanna Rock' by Twisted Sister. and i'm thinking, jeez these kids might not have been born the year these songs came out. i find it funny, because when i was their age i used to listen to stuff from before my time too, like Zeppelin, Doors, Hendrix and stuff like that. music from a generation before always sticks and carries over, but without the associations that the previous generation can attribute to it. music is truly timeless in that sense.

2005 Blog #1

so it's 2005 and 10 years ago i was painting a star wars mural, 20 years ago in 4th grade doing something-or-other creative or obsessing over a pizza place or Ghostbusters or something, and 30 years ago i was in my last few days of womb service.

Today i live in Vancouver and it has been raining alot. My toes are wet most of the time. (Current music: Thank You by Led Zeppelin.) Figured i should sit here and blog since it's been awhile. I've been making a habit of reading more this year, trying to catch up on some books I should have read by now. Just finally got a copy of the 'Genesis Trilogy' by Madeline L'Engle.... (current music: ShoeHorn with Teeth by They Might be Giants) so i'm just starting to feast on that one a bit. She writes in a very non-linear fashion and touches on many good thoughts that don't always flow in a logical way, but i expect that's the point. (current music: Heaven by the Fire Theft) also nearly finished with 'The Silver Chair', second to last book in the Narnia Chronicles. The Last Battle will be next, and then i will be able to say I've read them all. i've been thinking of re-working 'Joseph and Moon' so all of this reading will help me prepare for that. there's also my 'animation as worship' book idea, and the 'road trip' story, which i found the movie 'Garden State' to be fascinating inspiration for. All of this plus my films...sheesh. i haven't been too motivated to work on the film lately... i think i should really farm out some scenes so that it can still be underway while i focus on these other projects for a bit.

(current music: Our House by Madness)

madness. how appropriate. been shooting final footage of jose and carlos for the documentary project, which i expect will be very interesting. like a sage as always, jay has been helping shoot these last few days, so it can be finished. (current music: And I Love Her by the Beatles) this song makes me think of driving in my dad's car circa 1981-82..the chuck e cheese era. i can smell the cigarettes and upholstery still.....(current music: Damage by Queensryche) again, how appropriate. ok, enough synchronicity for one evening.

Holy Crap

yes, hoooooollly crap, i have just finished consuming the absolute best meal ever to grace my senses, lovingly prepared by my wife, steak and lobster, and mushroom caps, champagne, veggies, and chocolate cake....

...i do not deserve this much awesome-ness in my life.

now it's time to watch the second half of 'return of the king' on our new 43-inch LCD television. Happy New Year, indeed.

Christmas Healing

And so another Christmas approaches, and my thoughts on the holiday continue to go through their continuous evolution. For the past few years, I’ve developed a rather cynical attitude towards this time of year and what it’s become for me. Thanks to my family, I had an incredible childhood, and many of my best and most vivid childhood memories revolve around Christmas. Various TV specials I loved, the anticipation of Christmas morning, the food, the presents, the church pageants & music, it truly was the best day of the year; there was nothing better (although Halloween was stiff competition.) It was wonderful! Perhaps that’s why when the magic stopped, it became that much more painful. What made it so special as a child, besides the specific nostalgic elements, at first was the magical belief in Santa Claus, combined with the childlike fuzziness brought on by the Jesus story. No connection was made in my tiny mind between the two, and there needn’t be…Christmas was Jesus’ birthday, and it was a day for ‘giving and getting’ as it literally says so in my 3rd grade diary. There was a fascination and mystery behind lighting the advent candles and playing with nativity sets, but the real excitement lay in what I was gonna get that morning. That was the real reason I couldn’t sleep and agonized through the long, torturous hours of peeking at that tree in the dark. Eventually I figured out through simple logic that Santa wasn’t real, and after confirming that with my parents, all that was left was the presents. On into the teen years, and Jesus wasn’t in the picture anymore either…he was shut out, and I never really knew him anyway; I liked him but didn’t understand why he had to show up in the first place. With Santa gone and Jesus gone, and presents ending up on a list I gave to everyone, there was still excitement, TV specials, and Mom’s awesome cinnamon bread, but all that was left were the presents, which I had asked for and expected, so there were usually very few surprises. Though I was happy to receive what I had asked for, in some of my later Christmases during high school and college there was an empty feeling when it was all over. Now Jesus, Santa, and the same childlike excitement of presents were gone, so what was left? Family. Togetherness of family was what Christmas meant; it always did for me. But at that time, even that was beginning to be a disappointment. We were supposed to be together and happy, but we were divided, and Christmas only emphasized that. I even ended up having to work at my movie theater job one Christmas evening during college, and got so depressed I literally made myself sick. What was the best day of the year in my youth actually made me barf as a young adult. I still get sick thinking about it.

The past few years have been a slow healing process from this time period of what Christmas became. Combined with the personal issues has been the simple sociological observance of how commercialized it all is, and how miserable it makes everyone else. I’ll admit the sappy songs, dumb jokes, terrible movies and commercials have turned me into a regular Scrooge. But what has helped with the healing is the fact that for the past 5 years, Jesus has been introduced back into the picture, and he’s given me a wife who loves Christmas for its true meaning (and loves decorating for it) with all of her heart and doesn’t let me stay a Grinch for very long. So that has certainly brought me out of the funk, but it’s still a work in progress at times. I believe that having children will help even more, because we will have blank slates to fill with the joy of Christmas that we both remember as children. It will be that joyous again.

The only remaining issue I’ve had to struggle with is Santa. It’s the thorn that has stuck inside me for awhile now, what to do with him? My heart’s discovery of the true meaning of Christmas only fuels the fire of the annoying materialism behind the season, and the Santa sell-out has been no exception. As much as I treasure my childhood memories, I still feel that I was tricked into the continual focus of every year being “What I want for Christmas.” Because Jesus was there too for awhile, luckily I was still taught that it’s better to give than receive, but at the same time I was being taught to focus more on what I wanted to receive. Not that receiving is necessarily bad in itself either, but for a child this contradiction is all too psychologically confusing. I believe that God in His infinite wisdom knew that I have been searching for an answer to these questions, and placed me in a ‘Church in Motion’ Sunday school class where Pastor Dave gave us an article that hit the nail exactly on the head of what I’ve been feeling. After tracing the history and origins of the real St. Nicholas and the pop icon he became, it tackled the issues raised by what the culture has done with him, and suggested alternatives for dealing with it. These suggestions, which include traditions and activities that focus more on who “Santa Claus” really was and what he did, are what I want to teach our children and incorporate into our future Christmases for years to come. Every passing year I feel more free.

Sleep?

well i got through another fall season of late late late late nights getting the damn dvd footage edited together for the school....jeepers, what a job! enjoyable enough work, and well worth it in the end, but not sure if i can handle doing that much again. i'll probably end up doing at least a little bit more in January. i wonder if there's a way to do it at the school somehow...hmmm. i dont know; i'm just glad it's over.

i've spent the last week coming home, watching TV with Jay and falling asleep at odd intervals of the evening to make up for all the 1am and sometimes 3am nights...LOL current music while typing this is Brak singing 'Magic Toenail', always make me laugh. poor jay suddenly became very sick with some kind of flu/cough/cold, a little bit of everything. wonder if i'll be next. ah, 'the neverending story' song...how appropriate for the title of my blog. always makes me think of watching this movie in the cottage up north, on our new VCR. such a warm fuzzy feeling; i'll have to play it soon while animating. we just recently had the Esaus over for dinner and 16mm cartoon screening...it was a great time. and the current music moves on to Third Day, 'Your love oh Lord' hmm, sure would be nice to stay up and listen to music and ramble all night, but should probably get to bed, lest i succumb to the pressures of everyone around me getting sick. actually i think i might welcome such a turn of events at this point. gives me an excuse to watch Looney Tunes and Disney cartoons for hours and drift off to dreaming of things i'll forget when i wake up. Hmm, Switchfoot. Huzzah for Winamp shuffle. Joy....and on to the Thompson Twins. ok, throat getting tight. sleep you fool!

gagagagagagagagagaga